

Humour médical L'humour en blanc, et uniquement celuilà. 

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07/08/2016, 08h11  #1 
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Date d'inscription: février 2005
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Messages: 14 839

Humour Scientifique
Comment décoder les publications scientifiques (XXe siècle).
1) ON SAIT DE PUIS UN CERTAIN TEMPS. L'auteur veut dire : 1) Je n'ai pas pris la peine de regarder la référence d'origine. 2) ...D'UNE GRANDE IMPORTANCE TECHNIQUE ET PRATIQUE. 2) ...qui, personnellement, m'intéresse. 3) BIEN QU'IL N'AIT PAS ETE POSSIBLE DE FOURNIR UNE REPONSE DECISIVE A CES QUESTIONS. 3) On ne peut pas dire que j'y aie compris grandchose, mais je vais quand même essayer de refiler un article. 4) LE COMPOSE ALANINEARGININE Z455 ETE CHOISI POUR SA CAPACITE A DEMONTRER L'EFFET PREVU. 4) Le gars du labo d'à côté en avait en rab. 5) HAUTE PURETE, TRES HAUTE PURETE, PURETE EXTREMEMENT ELEVEE, ULTRAPUR, SPECTROSCOPIQUEMENT PUR. 5) Composition inconnue, mises à part les prétentions exagérées du fournisseur. 6) TROIS CAS ONT ETE CHOISIS POUR FAIRE L'OBJET D'UNE ANALYSE DETAILLEE. 6) Comme je n'ai pas compris les résultats des autres cas, je les ai jetés à la poubelle. 7) ... ONT ETE MANIPULES AVEC UN SOIN EXTREME AU COURS DES EXPERIENCES. 7) ... je n'en ai laissé tombé qu'un. 8) LES RESULTATS TYPIQUES MONTRENT... 8) Les meilleurs résultats sont exposés. 9) BIEN QUE LES DETAILS NE SOIENT PAS VISIBLES SUR LA PHOTOGRAPHIE. 9) D'après le négatif, il est impossible d'affirmer. 10) PROBABLEMENT POUR DES PERIODES PLUS LONGUES. 10) Je n'ai pas eu la patience de vérifier. 11) CES RESULTATS SERONT ANNONCES ULTERIEUREMENT. 11) A condition que j'aie la patience de continuer. 12) LES VALEURS LES PLUS INCROYABLES SONT CELLES OBTENUES PAR UNTEL. 12) C'est un de mes étudiants. 13) ON SUGGERE QUE... IL SEMBLE QUE... IL EST POSSIBLE QUE... 13) A mon avis... 14) DES RECHERCHES COMPLEMENTAIRES SONT ASSUREMENT NECESSAIRES... 14) Je ne comprends pas. 15) CORRECT DANS UN CERTAIN ORDRE DE GRANDEUR... 15) Faux. 16) ON PEUT ESPERER QUE CES TRAVAUX EN ENTRAINENT D'AUTRES DANS LE MEME DOMAINE. 16) Cette publication n'est pas très bonne, mais les autres ne le sont pas non plus et le sujet est sans intérêt. 17) NOUS REMERCIONS M. UNTEL, QUI NOUS A ASSISTE DANS LA REALISATION DES EXPERIENCES, ET M. MACHIN, POUR SES INTERESSANTS COMMENTAIRES. 17) M. Untel a fait le boulot et M. Machin nous a expliqué les conclusions qu'il fallait en tirer. Variante : IL EST BIEN ÉTABLI QUE... "Je ne me suis pas donné la peine de vérifier, mais il me semble bien possible que..." QUOIQU'IL N'AIT PAS ÉTÉ POSSIBLE DE DONNER UNE RÉPONSE DÉFINITIVE "L'expérience échoua, mais il me semble tout de même pouvoir en tirer une publication" LA TECHNIQUE XYZ FUT CHOISIE COMME PARTICULIÈREMENT ADÉQUATE "Le copain du labo d'à côté avait déjà mis la technique XYZ au point" 3 ÉCHANTILLONS FURENT CHOISIS POUR UNE ÉTUDE EXHAUSTIVE "Les résultats obtenus à partir des autres échantillons n'ont rien donné de cohérent" MANIPULÉ AVEC LA PLUS GRANDE PRÉCAUTION DURANT TOUTE L'EXPÉRIMENTATION "Ne fut pas jeté à l'égout" LA CONCORDANCE AVEC LA THÉORIE EST: EXCELLENTE = passable TRÈS BONNE = faible SATISFAISANTE = douteuse PASSABLE = totalement imaginaire IL EST ADMIS QUE "Je crois que" IL EST GÉNÉRALEMENT ADMIS QUE "2 collègues pensent comme moi" IL EST ÉVIDENT QUE DES TRAVAUX COMPLÉMENTAIRES SERONT UTILES "Je n'ai rien compris" VOICI QUELQUES RÉSULTATS TYPIQUES "Voici les meilleurs résultats" SIGNIFICATIF DANS UN INTERVALLE DE CONFIANCE DE... "Non significatif" LES RÉACTIFS UTILISÉS FURENT SYNTHÉTISÉS AU LABO SELON DES TECHNIQUES STANDARDISÉES "Les réactifs utilisés furent achetés chez..." MALHEUREUSEMENT, LES BASES QUANTITATIVES PERMETTANT DE TIRER PROFIT DES RÉSULTATS N'ONT PAS ENCORE ÉTÉ FORMULÉES "Personne n'est arrivé à comprendre quoi que ce soit" NOUS REMERCIONS X POUR SA PRÉCIEUSE COLLABORATION ET Y POUR LES DISCUSSIONS FRUCTUEUSES "X a fait le travail et Y m'a expliqué ce que signifiaient les résultats." Variante récente The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science (including psychology) and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper. "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN" ... I didn't look up the original reference. "A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT" ... These data are practically meaningless. "WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS" ... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published. "THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY" ... The other results didn't make any sense. "TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN" ... This is the prettiest graph. "THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT" ... I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded. "IN MY EXPERIENCE" ... Once "IN CASE AFTER CASE" ... Twice "IN A SERIES OF CASES" ... Thrice "IT IS BELIEVED THAT" ... I think. "IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT" ... A couple of others think so, too. "CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ... Wrong. "ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS" ... Rumour has it. "A STATISTICALLYORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS" ... A wild guess. "A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA" ... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer. "IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS" ... I don't understand it "AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES" ... They don't understand it either. "THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOGGS FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS" ... Mr. Bloggs did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant. "A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY" ... A totally useless topic selected by my committee. "IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER 1NVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD" ... I quit. 
07/08/2016, 08h14  #2 
Administrateur et responsable légal du site
Date d'inscription: février 2005
Localisation: France
Messages: 14 839

Re : Humour Scientifique
Un truc plus pointu pour les statisticiens : que dire quand un résultat n'est pas significatif, c'est à dire quand la probabilité que la différence d'effet observée entre 2 produits à plus de 5% de "chance" d'être due au seul hasard ?
(barely) not statistically significant (p=0.052) a barely detectable statistically significant difference (p=0.073) a borderline significant trend (p=0.09) a certain trend toward significance (p=0.08) a clear tendency to significance (p=0.052) a clear trend (p<0.09) a clear, strong trend (p=0.09) a considerable trend toward significance (p=0.069) a decreasing trend (p=0.09) a definite trend (p=0.08) a distinct trend toward significance (p=0.07) a favorable trend (p=0.09) a favourable statistical trend (p=0.09) a little significant (p<0.1) a margin at the edge of significance (p=0.0608) a marginal trend (p=0.09) a marginal trend toward significance (p=0.052) a marked trend (p=0.07) a mild trend (p<0.09) a moderate trend toward significance (p=0.068) a nearsignificant trend (p=0.07) a negative trend (p=0.09) a nonsignificant trend (p<0.1) a nonsignificant trend toward significance (p=0.1) a notable trend (p<0.1) a numerical increasing trend (p=0.09) a numerical trend (p=0.09) a positive trend (p=0.09) a possible trend (p=0.09) a possible trend toward significance (p=0.052) a pronounced trend (p=0.09) a reliable trend (p=0.058) a robust trend toward significance (p=0.0503) a significant trend (p=0.09) a slight slide towards significance (p<0.20) a slight tendency toward significance(p<0.08) a slight trend (p<0.09) a slight trend toward significance (p=0.098) a slightly increasing trend (p=0.09) a small trend (p=0.09) a statistical trend (p=0.09) a statistical trend toward significance (p=0.09) a strong tendency towards statistical significance (p=0.051) a strong trend (p=0.077) a strong trend toward significance (p=0.08) a substantial trend toward significance (p=0.068) a suggestive trend (p=0.06) a trend close to significance (p=0.08) a trend significance level (p=0.08) a trend that approached significance (p<0.06) a very slight trend toward significance (p=0.20) a weak trend (p=0.09) a weak trend toward significance (p=0.12) a worrying trend (p=0.07) all but significant (p=0.055) almost achieved significance (p=0065) almost approached significance (p=0.065) almost attained significance (p<0.06) almost became significant (p=0.06) almost but not quite significant (p=0.06) almost clinically significant (p<0.10) almost insignificant (p>0.065) almost marginally significant (p>0.05) almost nonsignificant (p=0.083) almost reached statistical significance (p=0.06) almost significant (p=0.06) almost significant tendency (p=0.06) almost statistically significant (p=0.06) an adverse trend (p=0.10) an apparent trend (p=0.286) an associative trend (p=0.09) an elevated trend (p<0.05) an encouraging trend (p<0.1) an established trend (p<0.10) an evident trend (p=0.13) an expected trend (p=0.08) an important trend (p=0.066) an increasing trend (p<0.09) an interesting trend (p=0.1) an inverse trend toward signiﬁcance (p=0.06) an observed trend (p=0.06) an obvious trend (p=0.06) an overall trend (p=0.2) an unexpected trend (p=0.09) an unexplained trend (p=0.09) an unfavorable trend (p<0.10) appeared to be marginally significant (p<0.10) approached acceptable levels of statistical significance (p=0.054) approached but did not quite achieve significance (p>0.05) approached but fell short of significance (p=0.07) approached conventional levels of significance (p<0.10) approached near significance (p=0.06) approached our criterion of significance (p>0.08) approached significant (p=0.11) approached the borderline of significance (p=0.07) approached the level of signiﬁcance (p=0.09) approached trend levels of significance (p0.05) approached, but did reach, significance (p=0.065) approaches but fails to achieve a customary level of statistical significance (p=0.154) approaches statistical significance (p>0.06) approaching a level of significance (p=0.089) approaching an acceptable significance level (p=0.056) approaching borderline significance (p=0.08) approaching borderline statistical significance (p=0.07) approaching but not reaching significance (p=0.53) approaching clinical significance (p=0.07) approaching close to significance (p<0.1) approaching conventional significance levels (p=0.06) approaching conventional statistical significance (p=0.06) approaching formal significance (p=0.1052) approaching independent prognostic significance (p=0.08) approaching marginal levels of significance p<0.107) approaching marginal significance (p=0.064) approaching more closely significance (p=0.06) approaching our preset significance level (p=0.076) approaching prognostic significance (p=0.052) approaching significance (p=0.09) approaching the traditional significance level (p=0.06) approaching to statistical significance (p=0.075) approaching, although not reaching, significance (p=0.08) approaching, but not reaching, significance (p<0.09) approximately significant (p=0.053) approximating significance (p=0.09) arguably significant (p=0.07) as good as significant (p=0.0502) at the brink of significance (p=0.06) at the cusp of significance (p=0.06) at the edge of significance (p=0.055) at the limit of significance (p=0.054) at the limits of significance (p=0.053) at the margin of significance (p=0.056) at the margin of statistical significance (p<0.07) at the verge of significance (p=0.058) at the very edge of significance (p=0.053) barely below the level of significance (p=0.06) barely escaped statistical significance (p=0.07) barely escapes being statistically significant at the 5% risk level (0.1>p>0.05) barely failed to attain statistical significance (p=0.067) barely fails to attain statistical significance at conventional levels (p<0.10 barely insignificant (p=0.075) barely missed statistical significance (p=0.051) barely missed the commonly acceptable significance level (p<0.053) barely outside the range of significance (p=0.06) barely significant (p=0.07) below (but verging on) the statistical significant level (p>0.05) better trends of improvement (p=0.056) bordered on a statistically significant value (p=0.06) bordered on being significant (p>0.07) bordered on being statistically significant (p=0.0502) bordered on but was not less than the accepted level of significance (p>0.05) bordered on significant (p=0.09) borderline conventional significance (p=0.051) borderline level of statistical significance (p=0.053) borderline signiﬁcant (p=0.09) borderline significant trends (p=0.099) close to a marginally significant level (p=0.06) close to being significant (p=0.06) close to being statistically signiﬁcant (p=0.055) close to borderline signiﬁcance (p=0.072) close to the boundary of significance (p=0.06) close to the level of significance (p=0.07) close to the limit of significance (p=0.17) close to the margin of significance (p=0.055) close to the margin of statistical significance (p=0.075) closely approaches the brink of signiﬁcance (p=0.07) closely approaches the statistical significance (p=0.0669) closely approximating significance (p>0.05) closely not significant (p=0.06) closely significant (p=0.058) closetosigniﬁcant (p=0.09) did not achieve conventional threshold levels of statistical significance (p=0.08) did not exceed the conventional level of statistical significance (p<0.08) did not quite achieve acceptable levels of statistical significance (p=0.054) did not quite achieve significance (p=0.076) did not quite achieve the conventional levels of significance (p=0.052) did not quite achieve the threshold for statistical significance (p=0.08) did not quite attain conventional levels of significance (p=0.07) did not quite reach a statistically significant level (p=0.108) did not quite reach conventional levels of statistical significance (p=0.079) did not quite reach statistical significance (p=0.063) did not reach the traditional level of signiﬁcance (p=0.10) did not reach the usually accepted level of clinical significance (p=0.07) difference was apparent (p=0.07) direction heading towards significance (p=0.10) does not appear to be sufficiently significant (p>0.05) does not narrowly reach statistical significance (p=0.06) does not reach the conventional significance level (p=0.098) effectively significant (p=0.051) equivocal significance (p=0.06) essentially significant (p=0.10) extremely close to signiﬁcance (p=0.07) failed to reach significance on this occasion (p=0.09) failed to reach statistical significance (p=0.06) fairly close to significance (p=0.065) fairly significant (p=0.09) falls just short of standard levels of statistical significance (p=0.06) fell (just) short of significance (p=0.08) fell barely short of significance (p=0.08) fell just short of significance (p=0.07) fell just short of statistical significance (p=0.12) fell just short of the traditional definition of statistical significance (p=0.051) fell marginally short of significance (p=0.07) fell narrowly short of significance (p=0.0623) fell only marginally short of significance (p=0.0879) fell only short of significance (p=0.06) fell short of significance (p=0.07) fell slightly short of significance (p>0.0167) fell somewhat short of significance (p=0.138) felt short of significance (p=0.07) flirting with conventional levels of significance (p>0.1) heading towards significance (p=0.086) highly significant (p=0.09) hint of significance (p>0.05) hovered around signiﬁcance (p = 0.061) hovered at nearly a significant level (p=0.058) hovering closer to statistical significance (p=0.076) hovers on the brink of significance (p=0.055) in the edge of significance (p=0.059) in the verge of significance (p=0.06) inconclusively significant (p=0.070) indeterminate significance (p=0.08) indicative significance (p=0.08) is just outside the conventional levels of significance just about significant (p=0.051) just above the arbitrary level of signiﬁcance (p=0.07) just above the margin of significance (p=0.053) just at the conventional level of significance (p=0.05001) just barely below the level of significance (p=0.06) just barely failed to reach significance (p<0.06) just barely insignificant (p=0.11) just barely statistically signiﬁcant (p=0.054) just beyond significance (p=0.06) just borderline significant (p=0.058) just escaped significance (p=0.07) just failed significance (p=0.057) just failed to be significant (p=0.072) just failed to reach statistical significance (p=0.06) just failing to reach statistical significance (p=0.06) just fails to reach conventional levels of statistical significance (p=0.07) just lacked significance (p=0.053) just marginally significant (p=0.0562) just missed being statistically significant (p=0.06) just missing significance (p=0.07) just on the verge of significance (p=0.06) just outside accepted levels of significance (p=0.06) just outside levels of significance (p<0.08) just outside the bounds of significance (p=0.06) just outside the conventional levels of significance (p=0.1076) just outside the level of significance (p=0.0683) just outside the limits of significance (p=0.06) just outside the traditional bounds of significance (p=0.06) just over the limits of statistical significance (p=0.06) just short of significance (p=0.07) just shy of significance (p=0.053) just skirting the boundary of significance (p=0.052) just tendentially signiﬁcant (p=0.056) just tottering on the brink of significance at the 0.05 level just very slightly missed the significance level (p=0.086) leaning towards significance (p=0.15) leaning towards statistical significance (p=0.06) likely to be significant (p=0.054) loosely significant (p=0.10) marginal significance (p=0.07) marginally and negatively significant (p=0.08) marginally insignificant (p=0.08) marginally nonsignificant (p=0.096) marginally outside the level of significance marginally significant (p>=0.1) marginally significant tendency (p=0.08) marginally statistically significant (p=0.08) may not be signiﬁcant (p=0.06) medium level of significance (p=0.051) mildly signiﬁcant (p=0.07) missed narrowly statistical significance (p=0.054) moderately significant (p>0.11) modestly significant (p=0.09) narrowly avoided significance (p=0.052) narrowly eluded statistical significance (p=0.0789) narrowly escaped significance (p=0.08) narrowly evaded statistical significance (p>0.05) narrowly failed significance (p=0.054) narrowly missed achieving significance (p=0.055) narrowly missed overall significance (p=0.06) narrowly missed significance (p=0.051) narrowly missed standard significance levels (p<0.07) narrowly missed the significance level (p=0.07) narrowly missing conventional significance (p=0.054) near limit significance (p=0.073) near miss of statistical significance (p>0.1) near nominal significance (p=0.064) near significance (p=0.07) near to statistical significance (p=0.056) near/possible significance(p=0.0661) nearborderline significance (p=0.10) nearcertain signiﬁcance (p=0.07) nearing significance (p<0.051) nearly acceptable level of significance (p=0.06) nearly approaches statistical significance (p=0.079) nearly borderline significance (p=0.052) nearly negatively significant (p<0.1) nearly positively significant (p=0.063) nearly reached a significant level (p=0.07) nearly reaching the level of significance (p<0.06) nearly significant (p=0.06) nearly significant tendency (p=0.06) nearly, but not quite significant (p>0.06) nearmarginal significance (p=0.18) nearsignificant (p=0.09) neartosignificance (p=0.093) neartrend significance (p=0.11) nominally significant (p=0.08) noninsignificant result (p=0.500) nonsignificant in the statistical sense (p>0.05 not absolutely significant but very probably so (p>0.05) not as significant (p=0.06) not clearly significant (p=0.08) not completely significant (p=0.07) not completely statistically signiﬁcant (p=0.0811) not conventionally significant (p=0.089), but.. not currently significant (p=0.06) not decisively significant (p=0.106) not entirely significant (p=0.10) not especially significant (p>0.05) not exactly significant (p=0.052) not extremely significant (p<0.06) not formally significant (p=0.06) not fully significant (p=0.085) not globally significant (p=0.11) not highly significant (p=0.089) not insignificant (p=0.056) not markedly significant (p=0.06) not moderately significant (P>0.20) not nonsignificant (p>0.1) not numerically significant (p>0.05) not obviously signiﬁcant (p>0.3) not overly significant (p>0.08) not quite borderline significance (p>=0.089) not quite reach the level of significance (p=0.07) not quite significant (p=0.118) not quite within the conventional bounds of statistical significance (p=0.12) not reliably signiﬁcant (p=0.091) not remarkably signiﬁcant (p=0.236) not significant by common standards (p=0.099) not significant by conventional standards (p=0.10) not significant by traditional standards (p<0.1) not significant in the formal statistical sense (p=0.08) not significant in the narrow sense of the word (p=0.29) not significant in the normally accepted statistical sense (p=0.064) not significantly significant but..clinically meaningful (p=0.072) not statistically quite significant (p<0.06) not strictly significant (p=0.06) not strictly speaking significant (p=0.057) not technically significant (p=0.06) not that significant (p=0.08) not to an extent that was fully statistically signiﬁcant (p=0.06) not too distant from statistical significance at the 10% level not too far from significant at the 10% level not totally significant (p=0.09) not unequivocally significant (p=0.055) not very definitely significant (p=0.08) not very definitely significant from the statistical point of view (p=0.08) not very far from significance (p<0.092) not very significant (p=0.1) not very statistically significant (p=0.10) not wholly significant (p>0.1) not yet significant (p=0.09) not strongly significant (p=0.08) noticeably signiﬁcant (p=0.055) on the border of significance (p=0.063) on the borderline of significance (p=0.0699) on the borderlines of significance (p=0.08) on the boundaries of signiﬁcance (p=0.056) on the boundary of signiﬁcance (p=0.055) on the brink of significance (p=0.052) on the cusp of conventional statistical significance (p=0.054) on the cusp of significance (p=0.058) on the edge of significance (p>0.08) on the limit to significant (p=0.06) on the margin of significance (p=0.051) on the threshold of significance (p=0.059) on the verge of significance (p=0.053) on the very borderline of significance (0.05
on the very fringes of signiﬁcance (p=0.099) 0.10) 0.1) 1) 
05/06/2017, 11h38  #3 
Membre
Date d'inscription: novembre 2016
Messages: 21

Re : Humour Scientifique
amusant et interpellant à la fois

05/06/2017, 16h39  #4  
Vraie enflure
Date d'inscription: avril 2012
Localisation: Bretzel and shookroot
Messages: 26 587

Re : Humour Scientifique
Citation:
DDD va être content
__________________
Dieu, j'y ai renoncé. J'ai mis une croix dessus

